The thought occurred to me that it might (or might not) be funny to have a counter approach to life coaching. Nothing against life coaches or consultants (heck, I am one) but sometimes we sound a little silly. (Okay, we sound really silly)

My proposal is that you have an opposite voice on after the life coach. He/She would sound something like this.

Good Morning Jack and Jen. What is the “issue” our listener is having today?

Getting organized? Lovely..
First, I am not a Life coach. I’ve seen many of you and you are no athletes. Coaches are for athletes. You struggle walking and chewing gum at the same time.
All the coaches I had growing up would no more provide gently advice than they would care that I was tired or not feeling so well about my life. They would have chuckled as they made me run more suicides (oh, right we don’t call them that anymore.)
What you want is someone who will listen to your pathetic whining about how you can get out of the mess you put yourself into in the first place.

Let’s start with the mess on your desk. I want to make sure I am getting this right. You want me to help you clean up the mess on your desk that you made?
Oh help me! Here is idea. Do what you did to make the mess ….only backwards. You put every piece of paper on the desk, just pick it up again and act on it.
What is that you say…someone else puts paper on your desk or in your email? Shocking!!!! My sense is…THAT”S YOUR JOB!
I notice you are not confused what to do with your paycheck when it hits your desk. Nope you take that baby right to the bank. Actually, your boss already understands your pathetic issue and deposits that directly in your checking account.

You don’t want help getting organized. You want the government to make it a “condition” so you can just sit a fret about it. Well kiddo, the gig is up. Clean up your crap and quite whining about it. You want a coach? Go run 5 miles, do twenty five push ups and THEN clean the mess on your desk.

As Mad Max says, “Ya’ll have a nice day”

Hope you guys are well. Obviously, I am not.

After some conversation around those goals, the VP asked us, “what would a relationship look like?” Again, we were stumped because we felt like we had just discussed that.

Once that was discussed, the VP asked us, “what would prevent us from doing business with them?” This didn’t kill the conversation, but it certainly slowed it down to a slow crawl.

Finally, the VP asked if their competitors had asked about our long term goals. UH? My co-worker was stalled again.

These questions are fine. There is nothing with making sure you understand your potential customers needs and desires. This did not hamper our desire to do business with their company, but it struck me how awkward pre laid out questions sound in normal flow of business.

Here is my learning from this:
1) If you are the VP coming in to help. Take more than the five minutes in the parking lot to learn about the client. Really listen to your ‘relationship manager.” His notes were spot on. He had done a good job understanding our needs.
2) Please don’t expect me to remember what we talked about one month ago. Just prompt me a little and then ask if anything had changed.
3) What would prevent us from doing business with you. Okay, what do you want me to say. Price? If you lie? If you ignore me (which is why you are here in the first place)? I am not interested in a debate or even your short response about how great you are. I will probably respond with some short answer that gets this question off the table. The problem with this question is it is about you not me. Ask questions about me. What am I struggling with. (I had some specific questions about the proposal they had sent us, but we weren’t being asked about that?)
4) The final question about YOUR competitors asking about MY long term goals? Okay, again, I know what is following. You telling me how YOU are different from THEM. The only person you aren’t going to learn about is me with this question.

Summary, if you listen to what I want to talk about, then I will like you and probably do business with you. Start the conversation with the open ended question like “Are you “poetential customer” still concerned about these stated needs (say needs)?”
Great, did our proposal meet those needs and do you want to move forward?
Or great, we brought Mr VP today because he offers something else to consider. We have discussed your needs so hopefully this will be relevant to you. If it is not, then let us know and we will go back to our proposal.”
Again, these guys were good, professional and talented. They just needed to relax and let a normal human conversation happen. Their skills and our needs will surface and probably match nicely.

You know how I like to say, “The best golfer in the world, Tiger Woods, has a coach,”  This is to support the idea that sales training is important and effective.

Well, Tiger has a coach, but he does not have a boss.  What would Tiger’s Boss say to him?

Imagine Tiger and his boss sitting down in a one on one meeting talking about this years goals.

Boss, “Well Tiger, I see that you have won your 65th tournament.  Congrats.  Oh look, you passed Ben Hogan on the all time winning list.  You know Ben’s swing is known to be the best ever to have existed. You’ve got a great swing too Tiger.

But,  we think we can make it better.  We have just partnered with Creative Swing Advantage to help you improve.”

Okay, so you’re Tiger.  How do you respond?  Exactly, you roll your eyes, and know that this is going to be a lot more hassle than it is worth.

Tiger has a coach.  Tiger does NOT have a boss.

Tiger chooses his coach.  He picked Butch harmon, won a Masters and then fired him.  He then picked Hank Haynie.  He’ll probably fire Hank at some point.  He’ll pick another then.  Continous Learning.  The learning organization theory.

What if we (CLA) made our differentiation by suggesting to our potential clients to let their sales people pick their trainers.  Not individually, but as a group or a lead group of sellers.

I don’t know how yet,  But I like the idea.

Let the tigers of each company choose their coach.  Let the managers respond to that.

See ya tomorrow.

CK Prahalad is one of the world’s leading business thinkers.

A best-selling author he advices businesses around the world.

This week on The Interview he tells Carrie Gracie how companies can survive the global financial downturn.

During this shoe, Carrie mentions to CK that what she hears him saying is that it is not strategy or tactics alone that drive business success.  It really is the people.  He agrees on continues to talk about people being the key to success of any business.

The INterview CK Prahalad

The interview is about 30 minutes long.  This comment is about at the ten or eleven minute mark.

We train with many companies who are obsessed with two things.

1. What do you know about our industry?

2.  We are great at training.  When we dig deeper we find out the 90% of the training is product based.

Product knowledge is important. For example,  if you are medical device representative, you feel that your job is to help docs use your product in the OR.  However, if you are not great, and I mean great, at listening and asking questions to your doc and all the influencers around your doc.  You may miss all sorts of opportunities to use your tremendous product knowledge.  You may be the best laser poiniting rep ever to step foot in the OR. Only to miss the all sorts of opportunities swirling around that could really help the doc serve patients and you sell more product.

C.K. says it is all about the people.   Check it out.  The concept that human or behavioral performance is the most important element of succes.

My brother gave me a book called Receiving The Day by Dorothy Bass.  In it she makes the case for truly being open to Psalm 118 where it states This is the Day that the Lord hath made, let us be glad and rejoice in it.  Dorothy opened up this well known concept in a beautiful way.  We all know the idea.  Be present to today.  Yesterday is over and tomorrow is not here yet.   All we have is today.  This message is all over the place.  Tim McGraw’s Live like you were dying song.  Books, TV, etc.  It is everywhere.  Even now, in the midst of this recession, we all have gone back to valuing what is important not the temporal pleasures of excess.

The problem is, I really struggle with this.  I do beat myself up for all the dumb things I have done.  It is how I got here.  If I had done things different yesterday, I would be wealthy, happy and wise!  There were so many things I didn’t do and now I am paying the price.  Plus, I worry all the time about tomorrow.  I have college tution to pay for.  I have my retirement to save up for.   These are real issues!  People I love are depending on me!  My fear is justified!  You people need to listen to my fears.  They are important.

Welcome to the conversations in my head.  For me, it is the worst in the morning.  For others I love, the night is when it gets to them.  Fact is, we all worry.

Well, go get Dorothy’s book.  Let me warn you though.  It will not turn your mind off.  It will however bring one wonderful and hopeful distinction.  (There are more than just one thought, but this is the one I want to share).

The distinction is that if you make time for prayer and meditation (some say just ten minutes a day) then you will start to hear the peace.  You can forgive yourself for yesterday.  Tomorrow really is….well, tomorrow.  All you have is today.  Today, something may happen that will bring you love.  Here are some tips on how to make space in your head for meditation and prayer.

1) Read a book like Dorothy’s.  Carnagie has one about worry.  Norman Vincent Peale.  Ken Blanchard.  Bonhoeffer.  E Petersen.   They all write about peace and time.

2) Go to a bible study or sunday school.  Gather with others and listen to them. Talk with your minister.

3) Take a yoga class.  They teach you how to breathe

4) Read the good book.  Psalms is cool place to start.

5) Talk with your spouse.  ( I got really lucky here.  She is a smart saint.)

I will preach on!   This is big.  If you can find peace once in your day, then you will start to bring that peace through out your day.  If you never get to that peaceful place, it will be close to impossible to find that peace when the world comes at you.

I went years, and I mean years with no place for quiet and peace in my life.  It tore me up!  When I started to search for peace, I found more noise.  It has taken me years to just catch up with the rest of the world and understand that quieting my mind allows for all the creativity and enthusiasm for living to come out.  If I become bogged down in yesterday’s sins and tomorrow’s worry, I have no room for love or creativity.  That makes me sad.

If you are in sales and it is tough going right now.  Make time for peace at least once in your day.  Thank God for today.  It is a gift.  You will be better with your customers and potential customers if you give yourself space for quiet and prayer.   I would do it after every call.  Take five or ten minutes to just sit and think.  Amazing things will come to you.

It might be God, or it might just be you being your bright, wonderful, creative, powerful, enthusiastic self!   Go….make time for peace.

We have wonderful friends who invited us to charter a 49 ft powerboat around the British Virgin Islands.  As romantic as it sounds, it is pretty simple with one major exception.  You must  have a great captain and be surrounded by people who you like to spend time with.  We are fortunate to have both.

One this particular trip something very interesting happened.  Our boat wrecked.  Luckily, no one was hurt.  In fact, we weren’t even on the boat when it wrecked.  We had moored our boat in White Bay on Jost Van Dyke (home of the Soggy Dollar Bar).  Happily enjoying our afternoon, when we decided to digny back to the boat to get some supplies.  On our way back we saw that our boat’s mooring had broken away and it was being pushed toward the rocks.  We tried to save it but we could not pull a 49 foot boat with a six foot dingy.

We called the Charter Company and they said they would send someone.  Because we had all of our valuables on the boat, we decided to jump aboard and collect our things.  I cannot tell you how disturbing it is to be on a listing boat, gathering your things as you listen the fiberglass get crushed with each passing wave.  The boat listed at a 45 degree angle and we were pretty rushed to get our things off in a hurry.  As I tried to gather two suit cases of stuff which included my wife’s jewelry (she is an artist and makes much of what she wears), our clothing, cpap machines, money, passports, etc it became very over whelming.  The waves continue to hit the boat and that crushing sound would vibrate all through the boat.  My friends were calling out about we had to hurry.  It really rattled me.   The towing company showed up and we were told to get off the boat.  So we hurriedly got our bags and threw it ashore.

After the towing company got the boat off the rocks and patched the holes, we were able to get back on the boat.  It was much calmer and less hectic.  Fortunately, we found a house we could rent for a couple of days since we did not fly back until Sunday.  My friend encouraged us to get some showers and go out to dinner.  Lisa and I were very tired from all the excitement but didn’t want to slow the group.  This was a brilliant move by my friend.   At dinner, we reviewed what had happened and marveled that it did not happen at night when we would have been asleep.  We talked about how scared we would have been and how some of us may have done something in a panic that could have made matters worse.

Now that I am back home and have had time to reflect, I think this episode is metaphor on how we react to our life “boat wrecks.”  I don’t know what causes your boat to wreck, but it could be just plain ol fear.  If our boat had broken from its mooring in the middle of the night, we would have been really scared.  Here are some thoughts around how this might impact our daily lives on the land.

1. Being Disoriented.  As the tide pushed the boat up on the rocks, the boat behaves abnormally.   As life pushes up on the rocks, our world and the people around us behave “abnormally”
2. Trying to rush things.  If we would have awoken in the middle of the night with our boat banging against the rocks, we may have decided too quickly to exit the boat.  This decision could have been much worse than staying on.  Chances were good the boat would not sink (it was only in a few feet of water)  Even though all of our senses would have said this boat is in trouble. (the diesel gas was leaking, the sounds were loud, everything was at an angle, all the dishes were falling out in the galley and crashing on the floor).  Much the same with our lives.  When fear takes over, we collect lots of evidence to support what action we should take.  This evidence may say we may need to act quickly.  However, that may be that LAST thing we should do.
3. Evaluate all the options.  Getting everyone together and make sure they are safe.  In life, we need to be calm and evaluate all of the options.  Many times we only see what is going wrong or even what COULD go wrong.  As with our boat experience, be calm and collected to make sure you have considered what is right.  Our boat was not going to sink.  Our stuff was not going to get stolen.  In life, you probably still have your health, skills, and the love of your family and/or friends.  Relax. Let your best come.  Then your best options will be able to come to the surface.
4. Keep the Carnival going.  Once we were off the boat, my friend made sure we went out to dinner.  Brilliant!  It gave us time to process our fears and work through our thoughts.  This is the same with life.  Keep going to worship or fellowship with others.  We need perspective.  Staying home and saving money is good, but it may also be bad.  I am not suggesting that if you have lost your job, you should be in a bar every night.  I am suggesting being around POSITIVE friends who will let you blow off some steam and feel loved.

www2.tbo.com/content/2008/oct/12/bz-office-politics-has-reached-a-fever-pitch/news-money/

Although this is probably not a surprise, the question may arise to managers about what they should do about it.

1. Spend time with each of your team one on one.  Listen with the intent to truly hear them.
2. Prepare your questions in advance based upon what you know about them.  You want them to do the talking.
3. If  you don’t normally have one on one conversations with this team member then make sure you explain why you are doing so now.
4. Your main goal is find out what is concerning them.  It may not be the safety of their job.  It could be they are worried because their spouse just got laid off or their friend is gone from your company.
5. Resist trying to “fix” anything right away.  People maybe nervous and uncertain and can sense insincerity.
6. Let them know you have heard their concerns and be honest about what you can do to support them.
7. Ask them if anyone is especially worried or going through tough times.  Be sensitive to any confidential information.

You can’t stop gossip or office politics.  However, if you avail yourself to listen, you may be able to fill in some truth with what was previously filled in with gossip.

The unknown and uncertainty is what drives gossip and it is fun to be the know.  Your best opportunity to curb office gossip is by being available and being a sincere listener.

Your people will appreciate it.

Here are some questions that you may choose to ask yourself to reveal true needs.

1. Is there real trust in the products and services you provide?
2. Is there real trust in the relationship?
3. Do you have shared values for the sale?
4. Do you have shared values for the solutions that need to be provided?
5. What are the risks for the client to take your solution?
6. What are the pyschological risks for the client?

Does the client have any sort of pain or a sense of opportunity strong enough to take an action?   You would know this if there is a sense of tension in the air.